Maybe you have a good initial interaction when you get their number, but they seem like a completely different person over text and it’s only a matter of time before they stop responding altogether and you’re forced to forget about them.
It’s not uncommon for most guys to struggle with texting girls, especially the ones they really like because they’re even more susceptible to making emotionally fueled texting mistakes.
If you’re having trouble messaging a girl and getting her attention, then stop what you’re doing now and read this 6 step guide in full before you send another message.
How To Text A Girl You Like With Examples In 6 Steps
How To Text A Girl You Like Step 1 – Get Her Attention
Have you ever met a girl and got her number, but then went on to spend a ridiculous amount of time staring at the screen wondering what to say to her?
This is something I see so many guys with struggling with… and they completely screw themselves over by sending a shitty first text that kills their chances right then and there.
Send her another boring “nice to meet you” text, and you’ve already HALVED your chances of getting this girl.
Instead, you want to convey non-neediness as well as a light and fun vibe.
If you’re first interaction was good, try to tie that into the first message.
Fuck telling her how nice it was to meet her, instead focus on creating a fun and flirty vibe instead.
Also try to refer back the time you spent together into the text too.
“You know what, I’m a little worried. After last night we probably owe big debt to karma, no thanks to you haha… – Blake”
Try phrasing this in a way that’s congruent with your personality if this doesn’t sound like something you’d say.
How To Text A Girl You Like Step 2 – Be Unpredictable
Texting 101 Principle: Make the girl feel that you’re unpredictable and difficult to fully work out/understand.
Do this, and her mind will be on you like glue.
A simple way to do this is to simply mix up your response time (whatever you do, DON’T be the guy to hit her back within 20 seconds of her every text).
Mix it up, get busy with your life and don’t think about her so much…
Reply when you have downtime.
Don’t make texting any one girl a priority in your life.
Besides being unpredictable in your response time, you can also position yourself as unpredictable by sending her “pattern interrupt” texts that will cause a little emotional/attention spike.
“Red or Black? Quick!!!”
Trying sending this to a girl at a random time, and she’s going to have a hard time not responding (assuming you haven’t made any big texting mistakes with this girl).
She’s so accustomed to every guy sending her the usual “hey, what are you up to?” or “how is your day going?” text, that this will grab her attention right away.
How To Text A Girl You Like Step 3 – Give Her Good Vibes
You want to communicate that your reality is awesome and she should feel kind of bummed out that she’s missing out on whatever you’re doing.
This means no complaining or “downer” talk.
Make her feel like she’s missing out by not being in your reality.
Note that you don’t always have to be doing something interesting, but you should always be making your reality seem fun and exciting.
Here’s an example:
“I just created the most awesome serving of bacon and eggs that mankind will ever witness, be jealous! Lol, hope your day’s going as good as mine.”
On the surface I wasn’t doing anything exciting (I just cooked breakfast), but see how I added the layer of fun on top of it?
Trying doing this as much as possible.
How To Text A Girl You Like Step 4 – Keep It Short and Flirty
Flirting over text is best done in a short-n-sharp manner.
Extra points are given if you can somehow convey some unpredictability and ambiguity along with your flirting.
This is where you get playful and have some fun.
“I just saw a psychic and she said I’m going to have an illegitimate child with a blonde girl called Sarah. And hey, I’m not one to fight fate…”
(Use HER name and hair color here, I probably don’t need to tell you not to call a girl Sarah if that’s not her name lol)
You can lighten this one up a bit if this is a bit too edgy for you… however this goes well with my personality style.
Just remember to always be congruent.
When in doubt, read the text back out-loud, and if it sounds weird for you to say then change it to be congruent with your personality.
This text will get her thinking about you, and it also has a slight sexual undertone to it which she’ll grab onto if she’s feeling sexually attracted to you (or even if she’s just horny at the time).
How To Text A Girl You Like Step 5 – TELL Her Where To Meet Up
Note how the word “tell” is underlined and in all caps.
I emphasize TELL because 99% of guys are too timid when asking a girl out, they want her to make all the decisions and are afraid of suggesting something she’s not going to like.
They’re more worried about impressing her than they are about actually getting her out, so they ASK in a way that stinks of timidity and has a people-pleasing vibe.
A truly masculine man knows how to lead, and you especially do this in the beginning because she doesn’t know what kind of guy you are (you need to show her this with your actions).
…and if you act like a sissy she’ll treat you like one by ignoring you… or friend-zoning you at BEST.
Once you’ve sparked her emotions with the above texts, DO THIS to get her out.
“You’re fun/cute/sassy/whatever, let’s hang out tonight at [LOCATION]. Meet at [TIME].”
“You’re sassy, lets hang out tonight at Bells Bar on Sunset Drive. Meet at 9.”
Note how this text is nothing but LEADING.
No hint of apology about the fact that you’re asking her out.
You want to come from the frame that she’s lucky to come out with YOU because she’s going to be having an awesome time.
If there’s a logistical issue she’ll bring it up and will most likely suggest an alternative time/place (which is a VERY good sign).
How To Text A Girl You Like Step 6 – Get Her Thinking About You
Do this if you haven’t yet met up and you can’t just yet because of logistical reasons.
Or if it’s been a few days and you want to make sure she’s still thinking about you.
This step builds off one of my cornerstone principles of attraction: The more a girl thinks about you, the more she will convince herself that she likes you.
Here’s the text:
“You wouldn’t believe what I just saw. Reminded me of you lol…”
Send this and then DON’T reply… no matter what she says back.
This’ll get her mind glued on you all day.
She’ll be checking her phone repeatedly to check if you responded…
“What the hell reminded him of me?
Was it bad?
…I wish he would just tell me.”
Take these steps, run with ‘em and be sure to leave a comment below with your results.
All the best,
These steps are designed to get you through the initial stages of a text interaction… however there’s a bit more you need to know to get your texting game to an elite level.
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